


Locked In

by planetundersiege



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And started making out because they were bored, Betakids, Betatrolls, Gamzee's bottles are also in the room, Homestuck - Freeform, Kanaya - Freeform, Karkat - Freeform, M/M, Pailing, Pailing is scary, Petition to rename earth "Floating Karkat Life Sphere", Questionable liquids, SBURB, SGRUB, Ship, Shipping art, Storage Room, Swearing, Taunting, The Meteor, They got locked in Kanaya's storage room, Troll Culture, Trolls don't get Earth games, dave - Freeform, davekat - Freeform, god tier dave, locked in a room, the scratch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 10:30:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11273637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: As Karkat and Dave gets locked in a storage room in a part of the meteor no one goes, Karkat flips.





	Locked In

“Dave what the fuck are we doing down on these low levels? No one on the fucking meteor goes here and I think there’s a fucking reason for that”, Karkat said as he and Dave walked through the lower corridors of the meteor, finding a rarely used hallway (full with shipping art of the trolls?).  
“C’mon Karkat it’ll be fun, it's not like anything can beat up a literal god and a grumpy troll down here”.  
“Fuck you”.  
“Well if you insist but I’d rather explore, like is that a door over there?”, Dave said as he walked closer, and opened the door before walking in.  
“It's just a fucking storage room you fuckface, nothing important”, Karkat said as he looked around, there was literally only junk around there (along with different colored fabrics and different colored potions in jars?), but as they turned around to leave the room, the door closed (which is weird because there was no wind on the meteor?). Karkat furiously ran to the door and tried to open it, but it was looked.  
“Fuckfuckfuck JUST FUCK THE HOLY TROLL JEGUS AND THE NOOKSUCKING WASTEEATER! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK? THIS IS JUST FUCKING PERFECT AIN’T IT?!? BULLDOZE WHATEVER HUMAN MOTHERGRUB FAUNA THAT CREATED YOU!”.  
“Dude can you be quiet?”.  
“BE QUIET? YOU WANT ME TO BE QUIET? WE’RE TRAPPED IN THE STORAGE ROOM WITHOUT ANY FOOD OR WATER IN A PART OF THE METEOR NO ONE VISITS, NOT TO MENTION THAT THERE’S QUESTIONABLY WEIRD POTIONS THAT MATCHES THE HEMOSPECTRUM ON THE SHELF THERE, AND YOU WANT ME TO KEEP QUIET?”.  
“Yep”.  
“THEN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU INTOXICATED FLESHNOOK?!?”.  
“I said, be quiet, you know I can get us out of here right? The thing with being a god and knight of time remember?”.  
“Well fuck I forgo… WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE ARE YOU TOYING WITH ME? YOU ARE FUCKING TOYING WITH ME! YOU CAN ONLY MOVE BACK AND FORWARDS IN TIME, NOT CHANGE POSITION. WE WILL STILL BE STUCK IN THIS SHITHOLE, NOT TO MENTION IF WE GO BACK TO WARN US BEFORE WE GOT INSIDE THERE WILL BE TIME PARADOX BULLSHIT AND WE’LL PROBABLY DOOM OUR ALREADY FUCKED UP SESSION EVEN MORE”.  
“Well yeah but I wanted to see how many seconds of wonderful non screaming, non ear bleeding Karkat noises. Those two seconds were the most amazing thing I ever have experienced in life and death, and I’ve been though both. It was true art, thank you human Jesus and troll Jegus for that blessing”.  
“YOU FUCKING ARROGANT SHITLICK JUST WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?”.  
“Well I can count many things, but the first one to come to mind is hanging out with you”.  
“WELL FUCK YOU TOO MISTER PINK SKINNED PRIMATE YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKING LARVA”.  
“Says the one with candy corn horns”.  
“THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A CANDY CORN?!?”.  
“Things that look exactly like your horns, and are tasty, and got a kind of hard shell when squishing them, I gotta see the difference in texture though”, he said and next second he was squeezing Karkat’s horn, which made him scream louder than ever before and jump back.  
“THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT?!?”.  
“Chill I was only touching your horn”.  
“CHILL? YOU WANT ME TO BE CHILL WITH SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND WEIRD MATING SIGNALS?!? I’M SIX FOR FUCKS SAKE AND THIS SHOULDN'T BE USED UNTIL THE PAILING BEFORE LEAVING PLANET FUCKING ALTERNIA AT NINE SWEEPS! IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN I’LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND PUT IT ON A POLE! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING TRAUMATIZING EVERYTHING RELATED TO PAILING IS FOR US TROLLS?!? WELL DO YOU?!? WE GET FUCKED MURDERED IF WE DON’T FUCK IN FRONT OF A GIANT DRONE”.  
Shit.  
Dave had fucked up and he knew it.  
“I see that your silence is you trying to see how fucked up pailing is for us trolls, am I correct?”, Karkat asked, now in a lower voice after being quiet for a few seconds. “Don't ever touch my horns again, or anywhere on a troll without their permission, especially if you don't know if that area is associated with pailing”.  
“Shit I'm sorry. I didn't know your horns were actually sensitive, or that it was in a bad way. Especially that you are afraid of sexual things”.  
“Wait, aren't you?”.  
“No? Why would I?”.  
“But, forced pailing?”.  
“We didn't have that on Earth”.  
“Wait what?”.  
“Yeah. We never got killed if we didn't wanna fuck, and we got to fuck when we wanted”.  
“Wait… then how do you produce offspring if you aren't forced to?”.  
“Well how many times to trolls pail in their lives?”.  
“Well once, a few days before ascension, except the Condense who left a new pail every time she killed her previous heiress and needed a new one. Humans?”.  
“Well we fuck when we want, mostly for pleasure, not for offspring, but most humans typically raise a few children”.  
“Pailing for pleasure?”.  
“Yeah, and then the babies just happen. And lots of them, a much better way to populate a planet than a fuck or die policy”.  
“Yeah for once you’re right, but how will that ever happen?”.  
“Have you forgot that we are currently playing Sburb? About to create a new universe? When we rebuild Earth we will be the ones in charge, not that weird drama fish queen. We can make it so mandatory fucking for troll never gets invented”.  
“But that's… fuck you are actually right. We will be the gods so we can do some voluntary donation thing with the mothergrub instead, then trolls won't have to be traumatized or stressed about finding matesprites or kismesises, good fucking thinking Strider”.  
“I know, I should get a PhD in awesomeness”, he said, winking, not that it was visible due to his shades, but he still did it.  
“Don't push your limits, you are just an annoying bone bulge with occasionally somehow moderate ideas”, Karkat replied before sitting down on the floor, they weren't getting out anytime soon so what was the meaning of standing? “But that doesn't matter because now we’ll be stuck here and die of starvation and our co players will find our half decomposed bodies, which would also surely doom our session because you’re our time player”.  
“C’mon Karkat, we won't be here that long. They will start looking once we’ve been gone for a few hours. Especially the Mayor.  
“Actually you’re fucking right about that, because hell when there’s a stoned clown with homicidal tendencies somewhere on the meteor, who already has the severed heads of five of your dead teammates, then you better start worrying when more people are gone”.  
“Exactly, and that is why we don't need to worry, like I said in the beginning. We’ll be here a day max, we had alchemized grubloaf and pop tarts for breakfast like an hour ago so it won't be that hard, and we have these half full jars with questionable liquids to do your needs in if necessary”.  
“Ew what the fuck Dave? That is practically a mini bucket, that is like the most perverted thing a troll can do, especially since those questionable liquids look like either blood or genetic material, I’d rather pee in a box”.  
“Well good, because there’s a few boxes up there, I can fly up and get one if needed”.  
“Well fucking thanks, but that's a problem for later”.  
He yawned and put his head against the wall, just drifting into his own thoughts as he occasionally but on his yellow claws.  
Dave didn't disturb him, after all, a quiet Karkat was a rare Karkat, and maybe he needed to calm down or something, because he didn't wanna get into a fight when they were stuck for who knows how long, in this small room.  
“So wanna play Rock Paper Scissors?”, Dave suddenly asked, to get something to do.  
“What the hell is that?”.  
“Wait, the fuck? You don't know that game? It's already been a month on this meteor and you don't know Rock Paper Scissors? Well you turn your hand into either a rock, paper, or scissor, and the right combo wins”,  
“Okay whatever, wait the fuck I won”.  
“Eh, no you didn't? That's a rock. I had paper, I win”.  
“That's just utter bullshit, how can something as fragile and breakable win over an unbreakable destroyer like a stone?”.  
Sigh.  
“Nevermind, let's do something else. You trolls and your weird culture”.  
“Says the pink apebeast with a weird fucking hair color”.  
“You know me and Rose are far from the only ines with blond hair right? It was actually pretty popular on Earth dude”.  
“How?”.  
“Well you just don't know fashion mr McShouty”.  
“Says the one walking around in a red fucking pajama with a cape”.  
“Well atleast I'm a god now, a god with sick rap beats, what are you?”.  
“Actually competent”.  
“Well thanks for that one shouty, but we’re here anyway. We will be creator buddies on New Earth whenever you like it or not”.  
“Fuck that name, who the fuck names a planet “New Earth”? It should be named “New Alternia” or “Floating Karkat Space Life Sphere” since we trolls were the original players, especially me who knows the most about this weird Sgrub shit”.  
“Then why are you not God Tier yet if you know so much huh?”.  
“Fuck off”.  
“Never”.  
Silence…  
“So… wanna make out?”.  
“What the fuck did you just say?”, Karkat asked, losing his breath for a moment.  
“Well why not? We’ve got nothing else to do”.

~ Later ~

Kanaya Maryam was minding her own business, walking around the lower parts of the meteor. She was going to make a new dress for herself since troll fashion always evolves, but was out of fabric, so she was on her way to her secret fabric storing place, a small room filled with junk and weird liquid jars, no one would ever go there, so she chose that place.  
As she walked through the hallway full of shipping art, she heard noises?  
And they came from… her room.  
She slowly opened the door, only to scream in shock.  
“STOP MAKING OUT AND GET OUT OF MY FABRIC STORAGE”.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I really wanted to write so DaveKat so here you go.
> 
>  
> 
> Also unrelated, if anyone here is in the Samurai Jack fandom, if you write me a Jashi fanfic with a happy ending I will do multiple fanfics for you, please that's the only thing I desire.


End file.
